Remember the FUP Plan? The F is back in the D

Remember those awful days in 2005, when the Tigers weren't expected to contend? During the first half of that season Alan Trammell instituted the FUP Plan in the late innings. Kyle Farnsworth in the 7th, Uggie Urbina in the 8th, and Troy Percival closing.



It sounded good in theory, but as was typical of the Tigers of that era, it didn't work out. In fact, it blew up.



Percival hurt his arm, never to pitch for the Tigers again. At the deadline, growing headcase and soon to be imprisoned Urbina was traded to Philly for soon to be All-Star Placido Polanco. The hard throwing, hot-headed free agent to be Farnsworth was sent to Atlanta for Roman Colon and current number 5 starter Zach Miner.



In the long run, the FUP Plan blowing up worked out for the Tigers. Looking back at Farnsworth, his Tiger legacy could be wrapped up in one picture...

Farnsworth working on his bodyslamming technique...

Turns out, they always return to the scene of the crime. As of 4:30 today, 1/3 of the FUP Plan has come back, as Kyle Farnsworth was the Tigers' haul in return for Pudge Rodriguez.



Farnsworth (1-2, 3.65, 1 SV, 11H) has been more than decent as a setup guy for the Yankees, but he's not a world beater. Far from it. If he was, the Yankees, who are in a pennant race themselves, wouldn't have traded him. Considering catching is at HUGE premium, you have to wonder if Pudge, and his hall of fame cachet, could have fetched more in return from another team. Then again, Pudge is a 2 month rental, a shadow of what he once was, not even the player he was 2 years ago. Obtaining Farnsworth may have been the best the Tigers could do.



I'd probably be more fired up about this trade if I hadn't seen Farnsworth pitch that half season for the Tigers. He was a solid, but not great, reliever. (His fighting skills, on the other hand, were exemplary) But if I put aside my biases, I have to admit Farnsworth is an upgrade to the Tigers bullpen.



OK, enough rambling...



Now that I've had an hour to let this settle in, why was this trade made?

• The Tigers needed someone, anyone who could consistently throw strikes from out of the pen.
  
  


• With Jorge Posada out for the year, the Yankees needed a catcher...stat.


• Farnsworth is in his walk year, and would welcome an opportunity to close.
  
  


• Pudge wanted out, as he wasn't exactly happy sharing time with Brandon Inge.


• It was unlikely Pudge was coming back in 2009.


• Pudge has been swinging the bat well, his value is as high as it's going to get.


• The Tigers think Inge would not be much step down as the full time catcher.


• The Tigers had seen enough of relievers who think the strike zone is only a suggestion.
  
  

What do I think is going to happen now?

• For better or (probably) worse, the .227 hitting Inge is the full-time catcher for the remainder of his contract. (Dombrowski has confirmed this)
  
  


• The Tigers have to be in the market for a MLB quality backup catcher. I mean, Dane Sardinha?


• The Tigers' locker room is probably a much happier place tonight.
  
  


• Todd Jones has become totally marginalized. Totally. There is no spot left for him in the pen.
  
  


• Farnsworth will end up as the Tigers' closer. At the very least, he's a fall back if Fernando Rodney implodes.


• The Tigers have not waved the white flag, as they would have wanted prospects from the Yankees rather than a walk year reliever.

Anything else?

• Eno has ESP.
  
  


• We all know how Dave Dombrowski feels about hard throwers. Farnsworth should consider the next 2 months an audition for a long-term deal.


• We should thank Pudge for his service, as he was a big reason the Detroit Tigers rose from the dead.

As for the trade? Yay or nay?



Pudge was leaving after this season. The Tigers needed bullpen help. Rather than get nothing (other than extra draft picks when he walked) for the mercurial catcher, the Tigers decided dealing him would get the pen a needed upgrade. Farnsworth was probably as good a reliever that would be made available.



So after talking myself into it, I give the deal a mild, qualified...Yay?

As per WDFN: Pudge Rodriguez is a Yankee

According to good friend of TWFE, Matt Dery, he just announced on WDFN that Pudge Rodriguez has been traded to the Yankees. I just tuned to ESPN News, and Buster Olney says the Tigers will in return get...Kyle Farnsworth?  Ex-Tiger setup man and total head case Kyle Farnsworth?

I can understand trading Pudge. But to the Yankees, and for Farnsworth? Ugh.

Have the Tigers just waved the white flag on the season? I have to take some time to process this before I can call this trade a good or bad thing.

Only one thing is for sure...The Brandon Inge as catcher era is now upon us. May God help us all. 

Kwame vs. Kwame: Winners and losers

There's now a pair of Kwame's in Detroit. One is an overpaid, lazy disappointment. The other...Hell, I'm talking about both Kwame's, the Pistons' Brown and the city of Detroit's Kilpatrick.



Let's break down the winners and losers in a battle between an underachieving and immature NBA center and an unethical and under indictment big city mayor.

Welcome to the Kwame vs.Kwame showdown!

Kwame Brown: Skipped college, entered the NBA out of high school. Showed flashes of brilliance early in his basketball career, then backslid to the point of being considered one of the biggest draft busts in NBA history.



Kwame Kilpatrick: Played football in college, then went into politics.Showed flashes of brilliance early in his political career, then backslid into a cesspool of corruption.



Loser: Kwame Brown. Brown has managed to enrage the fans in Washington DC, Los Angeles, Memphis, and soon, Detroit. Kilpatrick is 2 cities behind, though you could argue he has an entire state pissed at him.



KB: Somehow got Joe Dumars to sign him to a 2 year, $8 million contract to sit at the end of the bench. I can only guess there was some sort of blackmail involved.



KK: Stuck the already broke city of Detroit with a $9 million dollar lawsuit verdict after the courts agreed Kilpatrick tried to ruin the careers of 2 Detroit policemen who were investigating his antics.



Loser: The citizens of Detroit, as Brown is an anchor on the Pistons, and Kilpatrick's legal bills are skyrocketing thanks to his perjury indictments. The city may not be footing all of the bills, but no businessman in their right mind would even think about investing in the city. Maybe Brown, and his freshly minted $8 million, will...



KB: While a Laker, Brown was accused of rape during the 2006 playoffs, but was ultimately cleared of all charges.



KK: A serial adulterer, having hit on/slept with strippers, hookers, his chief of staff and any other woman within the Detroit city limits. Basically sleeps with everyone BUT his wife.



Loser: Women everywhere.



KB: Threw Ronny Turiaf's birthday cake at a fan.



KK: Involved in the "alleged" murder of a stripper at the mayoral mansion.



Loser: Tamara Greene.



KB: During a tight playoff series against the Chicago Bulls in 2005, Brown told the Washington Wizards he had a stomach virus, and was too ill to practice. Brown was later seen happily having dinner at a Chinese eatery. As it turns out, Brown lied to the Wizards, later claiming he was too pissed off at Gilbert Arenas to play. He was suspended for the remainder of the playoffs, then traded to LA soon after the season ended.



KK: Testified under oath he was not having an affiar with his chief of staff. Mounting evidence, including 14,000 text messages, says otherwise. A jury found Kilpatrick's testimony totally unbelievable, and awarded $9 million in damages to the 2 police officers he willingly slandered.



Loser: The truth.



KB: Was one of the centerpieces in one of the most lopsided trades in NBA history, as the Lakers traded Brown, several of benchwarmers and a couple of draft picks for All-Star Pau Gasol. The Lakers, led by Gasol, went on into the playoffs, while the Grizzlies spun into irrelevancy, finishing 22-60. The Grizz thought so little of their prize pickup, they let him walk in free agency. Memphis essentially traded Gasol for a couple of low 1st round picks.



KK: Arrested on assault charges when he shoved a police officer who was trying to serve a subpoena on his good friend, Bobby Ferguson. This is the same Bobby Ferguson who received preferential treatment and confidential information regarding his competition when bidding for city contracts.



Loser: Justice and fair play.



KB: Brown's draft day attire...

KK: Kilpatrick every day of the year...

Loser: Good taste.



I think the decision is clear. The loser in the battle of Kwame vs. Kwame is...You, me, everyone in Detroit and it's suburbs.



Buckle up folks, as it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Your newest Detroit Piston is...Kwame Brown?

Kwame Brown?



This Kwame Brown?



The Kwame Brown of KwameBrownSucks.com and TradeKwame.com?



The never came close to living up to his 1st overall draft status Kwame Brown?

Which Kwame will be hated more in Detroit?

The reviled in every town he's ever played in Kwame Brown?



The first word out of my mouth when I heard about the signing was, "Huh?" The second was, "What?" The third was, "Fuck."



Christ, we all know how well Kwame's are going over in Detroit right now. This signing well go over about as well as Kwame Kilpatrick's next court appearance.



I guess Joe Dumars felt a dire need to add an overpaid and under performing center to keep the end of the bench from falling over. And gave Brown $8 million over 2 seasons to sit on said end of bench? This is a total head scratcher. Hell, this is the next coming of the awful William Bedford signing 20+ years ago. (OK, that may be stretching things some...But not much)



I sure as Hell hope Dumars has something else up his sleeve, as this has been one dissappointing off season.

Words can't desrcribe how pissed I am at Todd Jones...

But "DFA his useless fucking puff ball throwing homophobic washed up ass immediately" comes close. Damn close.

I don't normally let bad losses get to me all that much. It's not worth it. I also try not to blog mad. But tonight's loss really struck the wrong chord. The wrong fucking chord. All because of the Tigers' "closer."(Term used laughably loosely) He's now the devil incarnate who happens to wear the Olde English D on his chest.

What little goodwill Jones may have had left with the Detroit fanbase evaporated the moment Jermaine Dye's fly ball left Comerica. In the biggest game of the season, a game the Tigers desperately needed to win, Todd Jones came up woefully short.

This one hurt. Hurt a lot. A combined gut/nut punch of a loss. You can't blow this game. You just can't. But Jones did, and did so in the most painful fucking way possible.

In the eyes of the fans, Jones is done. Fini. Toast. Kaput. An ex-closer.

I can only hope the Tigers feel the same way.

Mike O'Hara: Soon to be ex-Lions beat writer

I just caught this surprising blurb in Crain's Detroit Business in an article covering the latest round of buyouts from the struggling to stay afloat Freep and News.

Among the notable names leaving are Free Press columnist Susan Ager and Detroit Lions beat writer Mike O’Hara, a veteran of The Detroit News since 1966.


O’Hara, who has covered the team since 1977, said he’s retiring.


“I’m not an unhappy camper; it’s just time,” he said.

I don't know, covering the awful Lions full-time for over 30 years could make anyone an unhappy camper.

Jesus, it seems like O'Hara has been covering the Lions for my entire lifetime. For many of you younger fans, he actually has. I've seen no mention of when the retirement goes into effect in this article or in the News, but I would assume soon, if not immediately.

I'm sorry to see O'Hara go, even if I didn't always agree with his takes. O'Hara knows his stuff, even if he, like many beat writers, too often drank the team Kool-Aid. Unlike many beat guys with the fishwraps, O'Hara kept up an active web presence, and often interacted with his readers.

Enjoy your retirement, Mike. You've definitely earned it.

The only other thing I can say is...Why couldn't it have been Rob Parker? WHY?! Is there no God?

How big is this weekend's series with the Chicago White Sox?

Again, I have to ask. Just how big is this weekend's series with the ChiSox?

 Bigger than the the right center field gap at Comerica.

Bigger than Miggy's gut.

Bigger than Magglio's hair care bills.

Bigger than Pudge's statue of himself.

Bigger than Mike Ilitch's toupee bill.

Bigger than Placido Polanco's...No, I'm not going there...

You get my point. It's pretty God damn big.

Sweep, and the Tigers are 2.5 games back on Monday morning. According to Billfer, the Tigers may be looking at looking at AJ Burnett, George Sherrill, and/or a young shortstop, and are willing to trade, and pick up much of the contract of, Gary Sheffield. Any of those players could fill some pretty gaping holes in the Detroit lineup during a pennant race.

But get swept, even lose 2 out of 3, those players may not make a damn bit of difference, and the Tigers could be looking to sell, rather than buy, at the trade deadline.

So yeah, it's a pretty God damn HUGE series. 

Even though a sweep, or winning 2 of 3 at the bare minimum, will firmly plant the Tigers in the middle of a pennant race, losing the series won't necessarily close the door on their contending.  It won't be over, but the fat lady will be humming her scales.

We're now closer to the end of the season, than the start. The Tigers spent too much time spinning their wheels in 3rd place. Wasted too many games early on in the season. Used up too much time getting back over .500. Time is of the essence. Time waits for no man, or team. It's time to win some damn games, and finally make the Central a race.

Just how big is this weekend?

Bigger than the Detroit blogosphere's righteous indignation will be if the Tigers lose 3. I may even break out the TWFE panic button.

Now that's pretty damn big, huh?

FYI: The Stoney & Wojo radiothon is underway

Just wanted to pass along that good friend of TWFE, Sports Radio 1130 WDFN, is now broadcasting their 11th Annual Stoney and Wojo Radiothon for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Head to WDFN.com to stream their feed, and to check out the auctions.



I often rag on the local sports talk hosts in town, deservedly so, but this is one case where I have nothing but good things to say. As someone who's had to deal with cancer in the family, here's hoping Stoney and Wojo have an extremely successful 28 hour run. Good luck and thanks!

What could be more surprising than the emergence of Armando Galarraga?

Armando Galarraga continued to impress today against the hapless Royals, pitching 6 perfect innings, and going 7 full, in winning his 8th game of the season. Arrrrrrrrrrrmando (As Samara likes to call him, give or take a few R's) is now 8-4, with a 3.27 ERA. He leads Detroit's starters in ERA, is tied for the team lead in wins and looks for all the world to be on his way to becoming a long-term fixture in the Detroit rotation.

To say the performance of Galarraga has been one of 2008's biggest surprises is an understatement. But there could be Tigers news even more surprising than the emergence of Arrrrrrrrmando.

Such as...

Jim Leyland cuts back to 3 packs of smokes a day. (Hey, it could happen! Sure it will....and Kwame Kilpatrick will stop sleeping with any amd every woman he meets.)

Joel Zumaya gives up Guitar Hero, tats and keg stands. (Well, maybe not the keg stands.)

Fernando Rodney straightens his cap. (Throw a bone to the reactionary mouth-breathers who think it's not "respectful." They also think players wear their pants too long and their socks not high enough.)

Miguel Cabrera keeps his weight under two and a half bills. (Yeah, right. And Leyland will quit smoking altogether.)

Magglio Ordonez cuts his luxurious mane of  Samson-esque hair. (Chick Tiger fans would erupt in anger! There'd be tears! Mass protests! And even more tears!)

Placido Polanco's head stops growing. (I know, but it's so easy to joke about! It's like being pitched a big, large, giant, lumpy, Latino softball...OK, I'll stop now.)

Todd Jones has a 1-2-3 inning. (Never, ever going to happen. Hell, MI would freeze over first.)

Edgar Renteria becomes a productive player. (We miss you Jair, ooooooh yes we do...)

Brandon Inge keeps his mouth shut about his "situation" for more than a day. (Shaddap already. We might actually care if you got your BA above .220)

Kenny Rogers gets Mark Grudzielanek out. (OK, now that's really something that's NEVER, EVER gonna happen.)

Pudge Rodriguez takes a 4 pitch walk. (A man can dream, can't he? Ehh, it's more like a nightmare.)

Ryan Raburn gets to actually play. (I realize this is just wishful thinking.

Zach Miner is consistent. (By now you realize I'm pulling this never gonna happen stuff out my ass!)

And finally...

When asked for his opinion on...well...anything, Gary Sheffield doesn't go off an a 15 minute long daiatribe, and says "No comment." (Now I'm just being delusional!)

The Detroit Bad Girls? Apparently so

I believe this is my first WNBA post. It's likely my last as well, but if this is how WNBA games end...Well, I may end up changing my my mind.



Would you expect anything less than a take on all comers, bench clearing brawl from a team coached by Bill Laimbeer and Rick Mahorn?

Way to live up to the Pistons' Bad Boys legacy, Shock!

Answering the Detroit Tigers burning questions: A lost weekend in Baltimore edition

With Detroit on the edge of contention at 5.5 games back of Chicago, and the trade deadline rapidly approaching, the Tigers will soon have some big decisions to make. It also means it's time for another round of burning questions.

Any thoughts regarding the umpiring in Baltimore?

The missed calls were so blatantly bad Tim Donaghy could only shake his head, and say, "I should have been an umpire instead." Still, it wasn't the umpire's fault the Tigers lost very winnable games on Friday and Saturday.

Any thoughts on Nate Robertson? 

Only NSFW ones after Saturday's debacle in Baltimore. An inexcusable outing. Ugly is too nice a word for it.

Any other thoughts on the weekend? 

Not really. I'd just like to forget it ever happened. Even though the long weekend in Baltimore ended in a split, it felt as if the Tigers lost the series. Considering the ongoing struggles of the White Sox (4-6 in their last 10 games), the Tigers blew a golden opportunity to make up a serious amount of ground in the standings.

This is just another instance of the Tigers shooting themselves in the foot. Something that has become an all too common occurrence in 2008.

Apparently the Tigers took out their frustrations on the Royals, scoring 19 runs last night. A sign of things to come, or the exception rather than the rule?

You can admit it. You're expecting the Tigers to fall flat tonight too. Unfortunately, it's been their season long M.O. I'd like to think the offensive explosion is a sign of things to come, but we've seen the Tigers follow up big games by doing absolutely nothing in the next far too often.

So the question everyone seems to be asking is, "Are the Tigers buyers or sellers at the deadline?"

So what if they are?

So answer the question, smart ass!

It depends.

That's your answer? 

Yep. It depends.

It depends on several things. It depends upon how the Tigers do over the next 9 games. It depends if they win the next few series against the Royals, White Sox and Tribe. It depends if the Tigers are within spitting distance of the division lead before July 31st.

It really depends upon this coming weekend's series with the Sox. On Monday, the Tigers could find themselves fully in the hunt for the division lead with the Sox and Twinkies, only 2 or 3 games back. Or they could be licking their often self-inflicted wounds while on the look out for trading partners.

So, it depends.

Since we're talking hypotheticals, let's say over the next week and change, God forbid, the Tigers fold up shop and find themselves closer last place than first place in the division at the end of the month. Who would the Tigers look to unload?

1. Pudge Rodriguez: MLB caliber catching is always at a premium, and Pudge is having a solid season. There would definitely be a market for him. From all accounts, such as the inquiry into Pudge's availability by the Marlins, there already is a market for his services.

For that matter, the Tigers' brain trust may have already made the decision to move on in 2009 with the light hitting reluctant Tiger, Brandon Inge, behind the plate.

2. Magglio Ordonez: I'd HATE to see it happen, I don't want it to happen, I doubt it would happen, but moving Ordonez is in the realm of possibility if the Tigers end up as sellers. He's still an extremely productive hitter who is under contract for a few more years on a deal becoming more affordable by the day, thanks to baseball's insane marketplace. There also the fact the Tigers' system are developing some young outfielders (Matt Joyce, "The Cult of" Clete Thomas, Brent Clevlen, Wilkin Ramirez) who may be ready for prime time sooner (Much sooner in the case of the blisteringly hot Joyce) than later.

I'm not saying they could easily replace Magglio, but he could bring a huge haul of players/prospects in return.

3. Todd Jones: A man can dream, can't he?

4. Ryan Raburn: Not that he would fetch much in return on his own, I can easily see Raburn as part of a trade package. His ability to play all over the field could have teams, especially those in the NL, interested in his services.

If the Tigers are buying at the deadline, what would they be looking to obtain?

That's an easy question. Pitching, pitching, pitching and pitching. Then some more pitching. Starter, reliever, makes no difference as they could use both. Did I say pitching? Because they could use some pitching! Seriously, get some pitching.

Anything else you want to add, blogger-boy?

We'll know a Hell of a lot more about the direction of the Tigers' future by this time next week. For better or worse, their fortunes may be set in stone by then. That's just how important the upcoming week will be for Detroit.

Quick thoughts on...

The Britsh Open:

I'm much more open to watching golf at 9 AM on the weekend than I am later in the day. Coffee, bagels and the British Open isn't a bad way to spend a morning.In fact, it's a mighty fine way to spend a morning. The PGA Tour needs more early morning tee times! Make it happen, Tim Finchem.

I tend to agree with those who say "Greg Norman didn't choke." Playing golf in 40 MPH winds will screw with anyone's game, to the worse. Unless your name is Padraig Harrington, of course. I can't believe how good he was in near unplayable conditions. After all the damage Joey Blue Skies has done to the Harrington name, Padraig is doing everthing he can to salvage it.

I didn't miss Tiger Woods conpeting, but Norman's out of nowhere run gave everyone a storyline to grab on to. I doubt the PGA Championship, which happens to be at Oakland Hills in 3 weeks, will be so lucky.

The Tigers:

The Tigers' loss on Saturday wasn't a gut punch loss. It was a kick in the nuts, curl up in a fetal position while loudly moaning sort of a loss. In my experience (Not that I've had much), a nut shot is Hella more painful than a gut punch. Takes longer to recover from too...

I was at a fanily function Saturday night, and was watching the nut kick game with my brother-in-law. Just before Freddy Dolsi went into his windup, I went to grab a beer. Suddenly the bro-in-law yelled, "Shit! Fuck! You got to be kidding me!"  I didn't have to ask him if the Tigers had lost. All I could do was pop the top of the Molson, and drink it. It didn't help matters.

I have no problems with Jim Leyland running Joel Zumaya back out to the mound for a 2nd inning against the Orioles. He was lights out in the 8th, and Tigers do need to determine if he's the closer in waiting. You all know we'd still be bitching about Zoom not finishing the game if Todd Jones had been the pitcher victimized by the game tying home run.

Speaking of Jones, I'm seriously beginning to wonder how much he has left. I know he goes through a rough patch every season, but he's been throwing batting practice during his last few outings. Everyone is hitting hin, and hitting him hard. Even his outs are shots that just happen to be hit at someone.

On the flip, the idea of Kenny Rogers returning for another season isn't all that outrageous of a thought...is it? The Tigers already have gaping holes in their rotation, and Rogers retiring would leave another. Think about it. Who would you rather see on the mound, The Gambler or Nate Robertson/Dontrelle Willis/Pick a free agent out a hat? 


The Pistons:

Ron Artest? You have to be joking, right? Be honest, you're jerking my chain. Sounds like more creative rumor mongering from a bored beat writer. There is no way in Hell Bill Davidson would approve of Joe Dumars acquiring the batshit insane Artest. No way in Hell.

Why I hate Detroit sports talk radio: Reason #26,873

As I have nothing better to do while I'm working on a blog post, 97.1 FM - The Ticket, is playing in the background. I realize it's just asking for trouble, but what the Hell, at least they are talking local sports. (Jim Rome, playing on WDFN at that time, grates on me to no end. Then there is Rome's callers, all of whom seem to believe they are auditioning for Last Comic Standing)

It being after 2 PM, the tolerable Doug Karsch and Scott Anderson are replaced on-air with Terry Foster (whom I normally like) and the absolutely moronic Mike Valenti.

Why would I call him moronic? Thanks to a couple of things he said over the air during the first half hour of the show.

One, he actually watched the ESPY's. Watching ESPN masturbate all over itself while handing out utterly meaningless sports "awards" is the biggest waste of time ever created on this planet. When the 4 Letter announced their creation back in 1993, I resolved to never watch the useless and inspid ESPY's. 15 years later, I'm proud to say I've yet to see a second of them. (Maybe I'll make that my epitath, "He refused to watch the ESPY's") Most any knowledgable sports fan has better things to do. Hell, even staring off into space is a better use of time than watching an awards show celebrating all that is wrong with sports and the ESPN.

The ESPY's admission was bad enough. But what really sent me over the edge was Valenti claiming that Justin Verlander is not a true number one starter, and he has not been "great" over the past 6 weeks. Has he even watched any of Verlanders starts? Probably not, if he spends time watching outright crap like the ESPY's.

Let's look at Verlander's stats since June 11th:

G: 8
W-L: 6-0
ERA: 2.30
IP: 54.2
ER: 14
H: 36
K: 47
BB: 19

The Tigers are 7-1 in those 8 starts. If that's not great, then I don't know what the definition of "great" is. To be on the safe side, let's look up great in the dictionary!

Great: 
wonderful; first-rate; very good
being such in an extreme or notable degree
notable; remarkable; exceptionally outstanding

If we go by the literal definition of the word, and not just what our eyes and the stats have been telling us, I think we can safely say Justin Verlander has been a "great" number one starter...At least over the past month and a half. 

Is this excusing Verlander for his awful start? Of course not. He didn't deserve to lose a few of those games during his 2-9 start, but he wasn't the Verlander the Tigers needed. But you cannot deny Verlander has turned his season around, and is one of the best starting pitchers in baseball.

For all the bile the MSM  spews about blogs and bloggers, I hear more moronic and asshole-ish opinion from both hosts and callers during one day of local sports talk radio than you'll ever get from any self-respecting blogger.

I've come to a conclusion....Mike Valenti is the Rob Parker of Detroit sports talk. I'm just not sure which hack should be more offended.

The News' sooper geenus tells us what's on Joe Dumars' mind

It's tough coming up with material about the local teams. I should know, as I try to crank out something relatively entertaining every day, to various amounts of success.

But there's coming up with something funny/interesting/thoughtful, and there's just saying the Hell with it, and mailing it in.

Today, Rob Parker is "mailing it in." Not that I'm surprised.

 In his Detroit News "column," and as always in his case, the term is used loosely, Parker gives his take on Joe Dumars and his inaction in regard to the "big changes" he told everyone was coming. That's all well and good, but Parker gives us a level of analysis not even worthy of a Freep comment thread or an ESPN message board, let alone a major daily newspaper. (Can we even call the Detroit News "major?" They are in deep financial trouble and their circulation is plummeting faster than Barry Zito's career) But I digress...

Let's break down the latest by the consensus "Worst columnist in America."

Admit it. By now, you thought the Pistons would have had one, maybe even two, news conferences, announcing major trades and the addition of new players to shake up the still-winning-but-stale Pistons.

No Rob, I expected 5, maybe even 6 pressers.

OK, I will admit I thought the Pistons would have done more to improve the team than draft a narcoleptic power forward. I do agree the Pistons are as stale as week old Wonder Bread, despite what Tayshaun Prince believes.

Especially with all the buzz that was floating around the NBA after president Joe Dumars stated with authority that he was ready to make moves and that just about everybody was available.

Um...yeah. We already know that, Rob. Anyone who even casually follows the Pistons knows. It was above the fold news when it happened, when Dumars gave one of those "news conferences" you wrote about.


That's why the Carmelo Anthony rumors were out there instantly. Then there was the Baron Davis trade talk coming from the West Coast. Just recently came word that Tracy McGrady was interested in moving to Motown. 

None of those deals happened. 

Really? No shit, Sherlock.

These were nothing more than rumors manufactured by bored columnists and beat writers.  They were immediately shot down by your own paper's beat writer as wet dreams/flights of fancy. What's worse is these rumors continue to give you column fodder for weeks on end.

Instead, as the offseason continues to melt away, many are now wondering if anything will happen, especially when you talk about a blockbuster deal. 

But if you knew Dumars, really knew him, this shouldn't come as a surprise. Dumars isn't about making just any trade. He doesn't want a deal that simply changes faces.

Well, I don't really know Dumars, unlike Skip Bayless' punching bag claims he knows him. But I have to say...Duh!

The Pistons won 59 games last season. The team may be stale, and could use some fresh faces, but it's still damn good. As constructed, the Pistons remain contenders in the East. Change for the sake of change would be idiodic. Dumars himself has said as much. 

If Dumars, in fact, can't get a deal that he believes changes his team for the better, he'll stand pat. Believe it. That's why he's one of the best general managers. Not just in the NBA, but pro sports.

"I understand that it's not always easy to make a move and a lot of moving parts have to come together," Dumars said on Thursday. "You always have to have patience when you have the task of running a team." 

Again, Parker is beating a dead horse, as Dumars has already admitted he'll stand pat if the right deal doesn't materialize. But regurgitating it eats up a few column inches, so it's all good...

You don't need to tell me Dumars is one of the better GM's in pro sports, and not just because it's coming from the worst columnist in America. It's obvious to even the dullest of sports fans Joe Dumars is a better GM than 90% of his peers. Which isn't saying much when morons like Chris Wallace (The Grizzlies' GM  who "masterminded" the Pau Gasol trade) and Danny Ferry (who's been unable to come up with a supporting cast for Lebron James, and keeps the offensively deficient Mr. Potato Head Mike Brown employed as coach) are in charge of NBA franchises.


The last thing Dumars, in his eighth season at the helm, wants to do is make a trade that he'll later regret. 

Not as much as I regret reading, and responding to, Parker's tripe. Now we're talking serious regret.

Dumars, of course, wouldn't talk about potential deals and talks that he has had with other general managers around the league.

Because doing so is called "tampering." Dumars is not a moron, unlike certain functionally retarded columnists.

It's easier said than done. Just ask Dumars.

I don't have to, as you already have, right? It is your job, after all.

"This is not fantasy basketball, where you just wake up and make a blockbuster deal," said Dumars, whose biggest deal came at the trade deadline in 2004 when he acquired Rasheed Wallace from the Hawks. 

"We have a good team." 

Yes, you do. Maybe not NBA title contenders, but definitely a good team.

Too bad we can't say the same about the columnists in this city. Hacks, the lot of 'em. Led by, of course, Rob Parker.

I refuse to go into mourning over a pile of concrete and steel

I loved attending games at The Corner as much as anyone. I've said in the past I spent much of the 80's hanging out at Tiger Stadium. But from reading what are essentially obituaries in the local dailies the last few days, with Tigers fans making a final pilgrimage to Michigan and Trumbull, you'd think these people lost a close family member, instead of a piece of real estate they had no vested interest in, and occasionally vistited.

We should be happy for the memories we all have,

instead of in mourning. It's ONLY a stadium.

I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. Grown men and women crying over the destruction of the rusting hulk that are the remains of Tiger Stadium. It's not as if the memories have died. For that matter, it's not as if there is no longer a baseball team in Detroit, which would be worth shedding tears over.

Think about it, your memories come from the team that played there, and the people you attended the games with, not the stadium itself. It's just a large structure made of concrete and steel. Your memories are going nowhere, unlike a useless stadium that's a drain on Detroit's finances, and a blemish on the cityscape.

We should also realize not all the memories are good, and I'm not talking about bad baseball (Though we've seen plenty). I am talking about a team that did business in a way that was morally reprehensible for a very long time.

To a substantial number of Detroiters, Tiger Stadium stands as a symbol of past racism. Let's be honest, it's not as if the Tigers were anywhere near the forefront of breaking the color barrier in major league baseball. They were dragged into integration, kicking and screaming. The only team who took longer to integrate than the Tigers were the Boston Red Sox. It took 6 years after the death of Briggs for the Tigers to integrate, signing Ozzie Virgil in 1958 (!), and then only after Briggs' heirs were forced to sell the team.

When you are eulogizing the past of Tiger Stadium,

just remember whom you are also acknowledging...a racist owner.

Was the Tigers' owner, Walter O. Briggs Sr, a racist? Though Briggs saying "no black man would ever play for the Tigers" has not been directly attributed to him, his blatant racism has come to be accepted as fact. Many older, black Detroiters would tell you he was a racist, without question. His lack of action in regard to signing anyone of color for decades speaks for itself. Actually, it's pretty damn obvious in hindsight. Briggs only wanted a team as white as the sheets worn by the KKK wearing the Olde English D.

So for many people, the former Briggs Stadium does not evoke pleasant memories. It represents much of what was wrong with baseball, and by extension, we as a people, through the decades. When taken in that context, the demolition of Tiger Stadium should be considered a good thing. It's exorcising the memories of a long racist owner and sport.

We, as a city and state, have many more pressing issues at hand than the demolition of a well past it's life span white elephant. If you feel the need to say your goodbyes, feel free. I'm not going to stop you. But I won't be joining you.

TWFE's Detroit Tigers mid-season grades: The outfield

 You can find the first 3 posts grading the Tigers at the halfway point, starting rotation, bullpen and infield, by clicking on the links. 

I'm not the only blogger handing out mid-term grades. Check out Roar of the Tigers and Mack Avenue Tigers for Samera's and Kurt's take on the season so far. We didn't grade on the extremely steep curve the Freep's Jon Paul Morosi appearently used. Who knew relatively educated fans would be more realistic than a beat writer in grading the Tigers?

Anyway, enough of my slagging on the MSM. Let's finish handing out grades, shall we?

Gary Sheffield: F

The Tigers bet heavily on Sheffield regaining form in 2008, and Sheff backed up the bet in claiming he was completely healthy going into the season. Turns out it was a sucker bet, as Sheffield has been a shadow of the player he once was, even the productive one we saw for a few months last season. His shoulder is still a major issue, and even a stint on the DL didn't help much, as he's back to scuffling.  Asking if Sheffield will ever be 100% again is a legitimate question. A question Sheffield continues to dodge, and the Tigers themselves refuse to ask.

A Hall of Fame caliber player gets the benefit of the doubt from me, so I thought it was worth taking a chance on Sheffield (As if the Tigers have a choice, considering the millions they still owe him), as he had shown enough in the time he was healthy in '07 he could still be an offensive force. After 3+ months of watching Sheffield struggle more than Jeff Larish, turns out I, and the Tigers, were wrong.

At this point, he's keeping a younger player off the roster who would be of much more help to the Tigers. (Clete Thomas, who's played extremely well, and deserves to remain with the big club, was sent to Toledo this afternoon) It's time for Sheffield to sit, though it doesn't look as if that will happen...yet. Jim Leyland has to keep Sheffield on a very short leash, as no team in baseball can afford using a roster spot on full-time DH who's hitting .217 with no power.

Marcus Thames: A

Thames is doing what he does best, which is slug the ever living Hell out of the ball, as he's leading the team in home runs with 17...In less than half the AB's as the man who's 2nd on the team in home runs with 16, Miguel Cabrera.

Despite having an insane HR/AB ratio, Thames doesn't get the playing time most fans (Including this one) think he deserves. Leyland claimed Thames would be the full-time left fielder, but as his wont, didn't really follow thru. So Thames remains a part-time player who putting up numbers worthy of a starter.

Matt Joyce: B+

If you asked any fan before the season who would be leading the Tigers in slugging at the break, absolutely no one would have answered "Matt Joyce." He's currently on a Thames-esque power binge, hitting 4 home runs in his last 5 games.

I know it's small sample size, but you have to admit Joyce has been impressive in his pair of call ups. He's a solid defensive player in both left and right field, and has improved greatly at the plate after looking somewhat overwhelmed during his earlier call up.

It appears Joyce won't be headed back to Toledo anytime soon, and has earned the 4th outfielder job. (By the way, I bumped Joyce up a half a grade for saving the kitten at Comerica. Hey, I have a heart too...)

Clete Thomas: B

Thomas is another young outfielder who's made quite an impression with Tiger fans. There's a "Cult of Clete" for a reason. His .284 AVE and .366 OBP attests he's not overwhelmed by MLB pitching. He's verasatile enough to play all 3 outfield positions. Thomas filled in quite capably in center when Curtis Granderson was out of the lineup, and has seen his fair share of time in right while Magglio Ordonez has been laid up.

Though Thomas was sent down today, I don't think we've seen the last of the "Cult of Clete" in Detroit this season. He'll be back, hopefully soon.

Curtis Granderson: B-

Granderson had a rough start to the season. Missing the first 3 weeks with a broken finger really set him back, as he struggled mightily at the plate through the first week of June. After bottoming out with a .235 average, Granderson has been the offensive force we've grown to expect at the leadoff spot.

As goes Granderson, so go the Tigers. His beginning the year on the DL had more to do with their awful start than we first realized. It's not a coincidence the Tigers didn't turn around their season until Granderson began to hit. He's the proverbial straw that stirs the drink.

Magglio Ordonez: B+

Ordonez would have been the Tigers' All-Star rep had he not been sidelined with this season's injury du jour, a strained oblique. He's not going to hit .363 again, but there's nothing to comnplain about when it comes to Ordonez.  You can book it now, despite the DL stint, he'll have a typical Ordonez season, hitting .300 with 25 HR's, 100+ RBI and a .900 OPS.

What else is there to say about Ordonez? The man's a pro. He could roll out of bed, immediately grab a bat, and line a double into the right centerfield gap without missing a beat.

TWFE's Detroit Tigers mid-season grades: The infield

You can find my grades and thoughts on the rotation and bullpen by clicking on the links.

Let's get out the red ballpoint, and move on to grading the infield. We'll see which infielders make the honor roll, and which go on double secret probation!

Ramon Santiago: A+

The slick fielding backup middle infielder is having a career year at the plate, with an insane 1.026 OPS. That's NOT a typo, kids. 1.026 OPS. The career .238 hitter has been off the charts good, hitting more than 100 points higher than his career BA, and an OBP 170 points higher than his career rate. But we have to remember the term "small sample size" in regard to Santiago, as he has only 49 AB's after missing a month due to a shoulder injury.

With Edgar Renteria not hitting, and showing little to no range at short, you have to believe we'll see more of Santiago in the 2nd half, if only to determine if he can capably replace Renteria in 2009. He's not going to continue to hit like the next coming of Honus Wagner, but he doesn't have to in order to make Renteria expendable.

Santiago just needs to continue fielding his position well (which has never been at issue) and be respectable at the plate (which has). It's a plot line that bears close watch in the 2nd half.

Brandon Inge: D-

It's been quite a remarkable 2008 season for Inge. From his bitching and moaning after the Miguel Cabrera trade and demanding a trade, flip-flopping daily on playing catcher, threatening the Mendoza Line at the plate, and ending up on the DL thanks to bizarrely straining his oblique from moving his child's pillow, Inge has been remarkable in his ability to stay in the headlines...for all the wrong reasons.

As expected, Inge has been solid defensively, no matter where he's played on the field. His bat? It continues to tail off, and tail off badly. From all appearances, it seems the Inge who could hit .250 with 25 HR pop is long gone. Unfortunately for the Tigers, he's still being paid like that player. Despite his struggles on and off the field, he's still in line to be Detroit's starting backstop in 2009...God help us. 

It has not been one of Inge's better years, to say the very least. The only reason I'm not giving the reluctant Tiger a failing grade is because he's so good defensively.


Jeff Larish: D

Larish, a prospect who has shown a great deal on power at Double and Triple A, has shown little in Detroit.  He's been called up twice this season, sent down once, and likely to be sent down again when Magglio Ordonez comes off the DL.

Larish really doesn't have much of a future in Detroit. He's blocked at 1st base by the $150 million man, and blocked at DH by the $14 million man with the bad shoulder. Not that he's shown enough at the plate in his cups o' coffee in Detroit to think he could stick with the Tigers anyway. Larish's future is as trade bait, but if he continues to hit .234, even saying that is stretching things.

Ryan Raburn: C-

Raburn is as versatile as Inge, but without the baggage. He's also less talented defensively, while more talented offensively than the moody ass Inge. Raburn's bat hasn't lived up to expectations, which I think has limited his playing time in '08.

Though he could probably play anywhere defensively on the field, save for short, Raburn is a man without a true position in Detroit. He's more valuable to the Tigers coming off the bench as a super-sub and pinch hitter. In other words, he's a National League player waiting to happen.

Placido Polanco: B

The Placidome isn't having quite the season in had in '07, as that may have been his career year. (Many seasons a .341 BA wins you the batting title) But after a slow start in '08, he's pretty much where we all thought he'd be. Batting 2nd in the order every day, hitting over .300, playing stellar defense all the while.

Placido could have been named the Tigers' representative in the All-Star game, and no one would have had a problem with it. He's a pro's pro who was recently voted the most underrated player in baseball by his peers, which I think says it all.

Edgar Renteria: D+

The biggest disappointment for the Tigers this season has been the sudden aging of Renteria. The emergence of Jair Jurrjens (9-4, 3.00) as a stalwart of Atlanta's rotation makes the Renteria trade look even worse for Detroit. For those who like to scream "This is the John Smoltz trade all over again" need to get ahold of themselves. It's still too early to fully judge the trade, let alone comparing Jurrjens to a Hall of Fame caliber pitcher. But the early returns on the deal aren't good.

Renteria's offensive stats are well down all across the board, and he's become little more than a pylon defensively. This is not the player Dave Dombrowski thought he was trading for back in November. I don't think anyone expected Renteria to hit .332 again, but expecting him to put up his career offensive averages and show more range at short than the man he replaced was not being unreasonable.

The Tigers hold the contract option on Renteria, who's due to earn $11 million in 2009. If he continues to play as he has in the 1st half, that being below average in the field and at the plate, don't expect Renteria to return to Detroit next season.


Carlos Guillen: B

The Tigers' lone All-Star deserves a great deal of credit for allowing the Tigers to jerk him all over the diamond defensively.  It's hard to believe a 2 time All-Star at shortstop has been voluntarily moved from short, to 1st, to left, and finally to 3rd, all in less than a year. That alone tells you Guillen is the ultimate team player. Despite all the uncertainty, Guillen continuted to be one of the Tigers better hitters. 

Guillen looked somewhat lost at 1st base, but after becoming re-accustomed to 3rd, he's played the position quite respectably. To drive the point home, just go back to last week's Indians game, where Guillen made a pair of sparkling, game saving, 9th inning defensive plays at 3rd.

To say Carlos Guillen has earned his 3rd All-Star appearance is an understatement. He remains one of the Tigers best players, and as long as he stays healthy, will remain so for some time to come.


Miguel Cabrera: B-

Say what you will about Cabrera, and the mouth breathers have said quite a bit (He's fat/lazy/over paid/overrated/over everything), I'll continue to believe the trade was a win for the Tigers. And in the end, I'll be right.

I'll admit Cabrera is having a bit of a down season at the plate. Yet he's still one of the better offensive players on the team, leading the team in RBI, and behind only Marcus Thames in home runs. I'm willing to cut Cabrera some slack on his slightly disappointing (again, I said slightly) 1st half, as he had to learn a new league, team and position, let alone deal with the pressure that goes along with the massive contract extension he signed before the season started.  It's been a year of change and upheaval for the young superstar, his first real taste of adversity, and he will be the better for it.

Let's not forget we still have 2 1/2 months left in the season. I'll venture a guess we'll look at Cabrera's stats at the end of the year, and say, "Oh yeah, THAT'S why the Tigers traded for him!"

Pudge Rodriguez: B

Pudge looked for all the world to be on the verge of being washed up a month ago, when he was hitting .245 with a despicable .286 OBP. But once Leyland announced he would begin platooning with Inge, Pudge began his contract drive in earnest.  Both his BA and OBP back to respectable levels, and is playing very well behind the plate. Rodriguez isn't the player the Tigers signed 2004, but no one expected him to be. He's still a solid major league catcher, just no longer an All-World one.

Pudge seems determined to force the Tigers into making a difficult decision at catcher for 2009. If he continues to play as he has, someone will give Pudge a nice contract for 2009, possibly a 2 year deal. I just don't think that team will be the Tigers.

Quick thoughts on...

The home run derby:

If you've ever seen the movie Clerks (and if you haven't, you should), you'll fondly remember the line from Randal that struck close to home for anyone who's ever worked a customer service gig.  

"This would be a great place to work if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

I was reminded of that quote while watching pulling my hair out during last night's home run derby. I couldn't help but say...

"This would be a fun event to watch if it wasn't for ESPN's fucking announcers."

Is there a more useless, annoying, moronic, cliche spewing pairing than Chris Berman and Joe Morgan? They make my ears bleed, which turned out to be a blessing. Having blood filled ears means you can't hear the braying Berman and the clueless Morgan.

If I hear "Back, back, back..." one more God damn time I'm...I'm...I'm going...Well, at the very least I'll write a snarky blog post.

Billy Packer getting the ziggy:

Billy Packer is no longer employed as a college basketball analyst. It should have happened 15 years ago, as Packer was long past his experation date, but beter late than never. To be honest, I thought CBS would keep his intolerable ass on the air till indefinitely. But why CBS decided upon the bland Clark Kellogg than the awesome Bill Raftery as Packer's replacement is beyond me. Considering CBS kept Packer gainfully enmployed for decades, I shouldn't be surprised they screwed up in replacing him as well.

There was once a time when Packer was tolerable. It was back in the days before cable TV was everywhere, when you were lucky to see 1 or 2 college hoop games a week. From the mid 70'd thru the early 80's, there was NBC's 3 headed monster of a hoops broadcast team, Dick Enberg, Al McGuire, and Packer. McGuire took the sharp edges off of Packer's normally bitter sounding self, and it made for a highly entertaining call. (McGuire may have been the best color guy ever, a cross between clownish Dick Vitale and and the knowledgeable yet dour Packer, getting the best of both without the schtick of neither)

Once Packer went off on his own, with no one to counter his extremely narrow view of college hoop (ACC rules, everyone else drools...especially mid-majors), he beacme the cranky, bitter, sour curmeugeon we all came to know and loathe.

Goodbye and good riddance to Billy Packer, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. You will not be missed.

Why Joe Dumars hasn't made any big changes on the Pistons:

Joe D is truly stuck between a rock and a rock. He wants to make a rock the foundation style move, obtaining another team's numero uno player, preferrably via trading part of the Pistons' core. But the players he is willing to deal  (Seemingly any and everyone but Rodney Stuckey) have more value to the Pistons themselves than they do to other teams. Take them out of the Detroit system, and I'm not sure how good Billups, Rip, Prince, et all would be.

The rest of the NBA seems to believe the sum of the Pistons is greater than the actual parts. And those parts aren't worth trading a superstar for, even in a 2 for 1 blockbuster. It's sort of a Catch 22. Thanks to the philosophy of building a contending team without a true superstar, the Pistons now find themselves unable to trade for said superstar when one is now needed to win big in today's NBA.


It apears the only BIG change we'll see is the one that already happened, Michael Curry being named head coach.  It might give the Pistons a must needed jolt of attitude, but is it enough to get them over the conference finals hump? I doubt it.

TWFE's Detroit Tigers mid-season grades: The bullpen

In part 2 of of TWFE's Tigers mid-term, I grade the relief pitchers. 

For much of the season, the pen had a revolving door, with the Tigers desperately trying to find the right combinations, while attempting to replace the injured Fernando Rodney and Joel Zumaya. Though some relievers gave us more grief, than relief, and are no longer in Detroit (Zach Miner went from 8th inning setup man, to long relief, and finally to Toledo) the lineup has recently stabilized, mostly for the better.

Freddy Dolsi: B

Dolsi came out of nowhere, otherwise known a Single A ball. He has pitched better than anyone thought possible from such an inexperienced kid. Dolsi's been a nice addition to the pen, surprisingly effective in a late innings setup role while Zoom and Rodney were laid up. Effective enough to be considered a possible closer after the Todd Jones era mercifully ends after this season.

Dolsi has the stuff to pitch in the late innings, a potential closer, but does he have the mental makeup? That's yet to be determined.

Casey Fossum: B-

The lefty middle reliever got off to the rockiest start possible (2 games, 1/3 of an inning, 5 hits, 5 earned runs, literally throwing batting practice), leaving Fossum with an ERA of 135.00 after his 2rd appearance. Since that low point, he has improved immensely. Fossum's 3.1 inning, 6K performance in a come from behind win over the Tribe last week, may have been the Tigers' best relief appearance of the season. Call me crazy, but I bumped Fossum up from a C+ grade just for that appearance, a game the Tigers needed to win, as he was that good.

There has been some talk of Fossum moving into the rotation as the 5th starter, but it appears the Tigers will stay with Eddie Bonine, whom will be on a very short leash.


Bobby Seay: C-

Seay was damn near lights out in 2007 as the Tigers' LOOGY, but has not been near as effective this season, as his 1.40 WHIP and .260 BAA attests. For a pitcher who is asked in 90% of his appearances to just get 1 or 2 outs, and LH bats at that, Seay needs to perform much better in the season's 2nd half.


Aquilino Lopez: B+

After pitching himself onto the opening day roster in spring training, all Lopez has done this season is pitch often, and pitch well.  Yet he was sent down as the odd reliever out when Fernando Rodney and Joel Zumaya were activated. He was quickly brought back from Toledo after Zach Miner stopped throwing strikes, blowing up in a loss to those God damn Twins.

If there is one thing Lopez does, and does well, it's throw strikes, which is kind of a prerequisite for a reliever. (As was learned by the likes of Francisco Cruceta, Francis Beltran, Yorman Bazardo and Miner, all sent down for the committing the reliever's Cardinal sin: The base on balls.)

Fernando Rodney: F

If anyone has been the Fernando Rodney of 2006, please let the Tigers know where to find him, OK?

The once lights out Rodney seems intent on pitching himself into Jim Leyland's doghouse, and possibly out of favor in Detroit. He's given up 2 home runs since coming off the DL, which doesn't sound all that bad. But both were soul-crushing, hope killing, 8th inning blasts that turned what should have been Tiger victories into bitter defeats.

Rodney has been unable to throw his normally knee-buckling change up for stikes, which makes his fastball seem like fresh meat to hitters, and every outing an adventure. I no longer trust Rodney as a setup man, I don't believe other fans trust Rodney in the 7th-8th innings, and I have to wonder how much longer the Tigers will. He's been a huge disappointment. 

Joel Zumaya: B-

Zoom missed much of 2007, and the first couple months of 2008, with the oddest injuries imaginable. The shoulder injury suiffered this past off season could have been career ending. Amazingly, Zumaya has returned, along with his velocity and attitude. His control? Still a work in progress.

Zumaya is far from sharp, 12 walks in 11.1 innings is not what you want to see from your setup man. But his triple digit fastball, more often than not, has gotten Zumaya out of trouble. Trouble mostly of his own making.

Zumaya reverting back to his 2006 form is vital to the Tigers 2nd half chances. He's part of the way there, but not all the way.

Todd Jones: B

What is there to say about The Rollercoaster that hasn't already been said? I have the Pepto Bismol at the ready whenever Jones enters the game He's a fan heart attack waiting to happen. Jones gets by on smoke, mirrors, grit and prayer. His fastball couldn't break...well, anything. . He's incapable of handling any other role in the pen other than closer. But...there's always a but with The Rollercoaster...Jones is 17-19 in save opprtunities. No, I can't explain it either.

When it comes to grading Jones, overrated they may be, as flawed a stat as it is, it's all about the saves. No matter how he gets them, they all look the same in the box score. And much more often than not, you see "Jones SV" in his stat line.

As for the aforementioned Miner, Cruceta, Bazardo, Beltran and Danny Bautista (Though the Tigers' handling of Bautista, ending up with his being picked up by the Pirates, where he's been fairly effective, is more than a bit of a head scratcher), let's give them a D as a group. There's a reason (Walks, walks, and more walks) they are no longer in Detroit.

TWFE's Detroit Tigers mid-season grades: Starting pitching

With the Tigers at the All-Star break, we all know what that means: Mid-term grades.The Freep's Jon Paul Morosi has posted his grades, which has most fans shaking their heads, saying, "Huh?" They seem quite high for a team that has struggled for much of the season.

Not one to ignore a gift post(s) in the mouth, it seemed like a good time to give my own grades to the best .500 team money can buy. I'll start with the starting pitching.

Justin Verlander: B- 
It's been a season of contrasts for the Tigers' young ace. He was awful for the first 6 weeks of the season, while getting next to no run support to boot. But he's recovered nicely, and been damn near unhittable since. Verlander gets a D for the first 6 weeks, an A for his recovery. Overall, I'll say that averages out to a B-.

For the Tigers to have any chance of making noise in the 2nd half, Verlander has to keep pitching at that "A" level. When you are designated the number 1 starter, you have to pitch like one, youth be damned.

Kenny Rogers: B -
The Gambler's season has been much like Verlander's, awful, then excellent. During the Tigers' early season swoon, re-signing Rogers looked to be a major mistake, and there was talk Kenny was finally roasted. Now? The 1 year deal looks like a bargain, as Rogers has pitched like the top of the rotation starter he's always been.

Just like Verlander, Rogers more than earned a D early on, and conversely, an A for his performance since. The question now is, can the 40+ Gambler continue on as he has, avoiding a 2nd half slump? The Tigers' playoff chances, weak as they are, depend upon it.

Armando Galarraga: B+
The unheralded Galarraga saved the Tigers' collective asses early on, stepping in after Dontrelle Willis imploded. There was a stretch in late April-early May when Galarraga was the only effective starter on the roster. He has by far the best record of the starters, 7-3, with an excellent 3.27 ERA.

Stats to the contrary, I still have to wonder if Galarraga can continue to pitch this well, as he never, ever been this good in the past. You want to believe he's not a mirage, a half season wonder, yet there's the nagging feeling the bottom could drop out at anytime. Still, he continues to pitch well over his previously established head. Overall, Galarraga has been an extremely pleasant surprise, and has the chance to cement himself into the Tigers' long-term plans with a solid 2nd half.

Nate Robertson: C-
Nate was given a wheelbarrel full of greenbacks amd a long-term contract before the season. A move I was OK with at the time, as I figured the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. Robertson is what he is, a 4th-5th starter who will eat innings, and more often than not, keep the Tigers in the game. Though when he does pitch well, it's often in tough luck.

Early on, just like the rest of the staff, Robertson was worse than awful. (A recurring theme, if you haven't noticed) To his credit, Robertson may have the Tigers best pitched game of the 1st half, his 9 inning, 4 hit, 1 run, no decision appearance againt Seattle. Unfortunately, that performance has been the exception, rather than the rule, for Robertson.

Eddie Bonine: D+
Bonine is currently down in Erie so he can stay on sharp during the break, and will likely be called back up next week, when the Tigers will need a 5th starter. Brought up in mid June once Jeremy Bonderman was declared out for the season, Bonine got off to a surprisingly solid start, winning 2 of his first 3 appearances (Though he did give up 6 runs in one of the wins). But he's been throwing batting practice in his last 2 starts, unable to get out of the 4th inning, allowing 5 earned runs in each appearance. 

Bonine is not the long-term solution as the 5th starter. He's not the short-term solution either.


Jeremy Bonderman: C
Before being sidelined by a blood clot in his shoulder, prematurely ending his season, Bonderman continued to be, as he has for most of his career, maddingly inconsistent. He still had his early innings bug-a-boo, often leaving the Tigers in an early hole before he settled down. Though Bonderman's overall stats weren't horrible (3-4, 4.29), he always left you feeling he could have been/should have been better.

Despite the inconsistency, the Tigers are a much better team with Bonderman, than without him. His injury has left a massive hole in the rotation, a hole that has yet to be properly filled. 


Dontrelle Willis: F
Ah yes, the derailed D-Train, who can't throw a strike to save his life. Ugly doesn't begin to describe how bad he was in his 3 starts. His injured knee just exascerbated things, though it did allow the Tigers an excuse to remove the very highly paid Willis from the rotation. He's currently on the DL, back in Lakeland trying to sort "things" out.

Speculation runs rampant as to why Willis has seemingly lost it. He's too heavy and out of shape, his mechanics are so out of whack he needs to rebuild his delivery from scratch, the Marlins abused his pitching arm, he's suffering from "Steve Blass Disease," or some combination thereof.  Considering how messed up the D-Train is both mentally and physically at this point, it's probably best he doesn't pitch for the Tigers again this season. I say that with one caveat, as we could see Willis, problems sorted out or not, in September. If the Tigers don't make a move in the standings soon, they may be preparing for 2009 when rosters expand.

Pros and Cons: Dave Bing for mayor of Detroit

Dave Bing is seriously investigating throwing his hat into the political ring, and running for mayor of Detroit. Personally, I think it makes too much sense to not happen. I just fear for Bing's sanity, jumping into the nasty muck and mire that is Detroit politics.

Who would you want to run Detroit?

Classy Mr. Bing?

Or big pimpin' King Kwame?

With Bing going public with his investigating a mayoral run, it's a good time to do a list of pros and cons. Let's determine, once and for all, if the former Piston is the city's savior, or just an older, basketball playing version of Kwame Kilpatrick...

Pro: Someone as respectable as Bing running the city of Detroit would greatly help in fixing Detroit's reputation.
Con: Detroit's reputation is so low, a skateboard riding dog as mayor would make the city look better.

Pro: Bing is a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame, and he used that status to great effect in building his business into a multi-million dollar operation.
Con: Kwame Kilpatrick is an ex-jock as well, a former college football player, and we saw how well that worked out. Hizzoner still has that sense of "I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT" entitlement that too many athletes use and abuse.

Pro: Bing has the business acumen to draw new economic entities to Detroit.
Con: Who wants to come to Detroit with so much controversy surrounding the city? Seriously. I'm extremely pro Detroit, but with the mayor facing felony charges, and now city council being investigated for corruption, the stench could linger for years...and years, and years, and years...

Pro: The respect people have for Dave Bing would go a long way in cleaning up the city.
Con: People may think Dave Bing is "Insane with a capital I," in wanting to run Detroit.

Pro: Bing has more class in his pinky finger than King Kwame, the serial adulterer, has in his entire body.
Con: Former Detroit mayor Dennis Archer was a pretty classy guy too, and he ended up walking away in utter disgust than run for another mayoral term. He had more than his fill of dirtying his hands in Detroit politics. The same could happen to Bing, while Kwame seems to revel in the city's dirty dealings.

Pro: Bing could make his Hall Of Fame teammate Bob Lanier his running mate. Hell, make him police commissioner!
Con: There is no con to Bob Lanier, he's a bad, bad man. (Just ask Kareem Abdul Jabbar!) Would you want to mess with The Dobber? You'd end up with a size 22 Converse All-Star where the sun don't shine.

Pro: Everybody likes Dave Bing, ex-Piston and current businessman. He has no enemies.
Con: Everybody will have an issue with the mayor of Detroit, be it Bing or the skateboarding dog. Politics is all about having, then dealing with, enemies.

Pro: The suburbs would love Dave Bing as mayor. He could undo the Coleman Young style politics King Kwame's embraced, pitting a mostly black city against the mostly white suburbs.
Con: The residents of Detroit hate anything the suburbs approve. Which is why I'd be scared to death that King Kwame would be re-elected, instead of moving forward with Bing, just to spite the suburbs.

Pro: Bing would clean the city of Kwame's cronies. Most of whom do nothing of import, and permeate every sector of Detroit public services. The city needs an enema, Bing's just the man to give it.
Con: There's so many cronies to eliminate, Detroit's unemployment stats would skyrocket.

Pro: No more stripper parties in the Manoogian Mansion...Not that stripper parties are a bad thing. (Just ones that end in someone's murder)
Con: Bing would be more discreet with the extra-curriculars, which at his age (64) wouldn't be quite so strenuous or amorous as King Kwame's. Say playing bingo or hitting the early bird senior specials at Denny's.

Pro: Dave Bing is already one of the best ambassadors the city has, and he could do even more in public office. He could add the term "Detroit's savior" to his already long list of accomplishments.
Con: There is no con to Dave Bing. He's as honorable as they come, and would put the needs of Detroit first, unlike the current administration. King Kwame is out for King Kwame, first, last and always. He placates his own wants and needs, such as traveling the country like a rock star, and having a security detail with a bigger roster than the Lions, than taking care of a needy city.

After going over the list, I've made a decision...

TWFE endorses Dave Bing for mayor of Detroit! Let's make it happen, folks.

I hate the Minnesota Twins

Really, I do.

Extremely ugly, painful and outright bad things happen when the Tigers play the Twins, today's strange loss being just another of many heartbreakers. That burning hate was an underlying sentiment in the game thread at Bless You Boys this afternoon. Every few innings, a "I hate the Twins" post would pop up, to every participant's agreement.


My other thoughts about the Minnesota Twins?

I find the Twins abhorrent, abominable, anathematic, defamatory, despicable, detestable, execrable, fastuous, flagitious, hateful, heinous, invidious, loathsome, nauseous, objectionable, obnoxious, odious, opprobrious, outrageous, repellant, repugnant, repulsive and vile.

I also feel an abhorrence, abomination, antipathy, aversion, detestation, hatred, horror, loathing, repellence, repellency, repugnance, repugnancy, repulsion and revulsion towards the Twins.

In fact, get a strong feeling of utter disgust and anathema toward the Twins whenever they play the Tigers. The Twins are anti-American, anti-God and anti any and all things good and righteous.

I'm a Twins bigot. I'm opposed to everything Twins. The Twins should have been contracted when MLB had the chance. I hate the Washington Senators, because they became the Minnesota Twins.

Just how much do I hate the Twins?

I hate them more than Todd Jones. I think that says it all.

Answering the Detroit Tigers burning questions: Cabrera is no bust edition

If it's Tuesday, it must be...No, not Belgium, Prince spaghetti day or time to make the donuts. It means it's time for another round of burning questions!  

As the All-Star break rapidly approaches, the Tigers continue to hover just above the .500 mark, 7 games back of the White Sox. Should the Tigers be considered contenders?

When you factor in their slower than slow start, crawling back to the break even line is an impressive accomplishment. After that awful beginning to the season, falling 12 games under .500, I think all any of us wanted was the Tigers not being out of the playoff hunt when the season was half over. Best case being they'd have a shot for redemption from July on. Well, mission accomplished.

So using all the above as your measurment, the Tigers are indeed, "contenders." Though the Tigers are not occupying a playoff spot, they are far from out of it. Considering all of the first half adversity, you'd hope the Tigers might catch a few breaks in the season's second half.

We've seen the Tigers catch a few breaks already, with the emergence of Armando Galarraga, a squadron of Mud Hens keeping the Tigers afloat after the injury bug struck, the Tribe essentially ending their season by trading C.C. Sabathia, and the fact that no one in the Central has taken a stranglehold on the division. The Tigers are going to need a few more breaks, as making up 7 games and leapfrogging 2 teams in the standings will not be an easy task.

Are the Tigers going to make up those 7 games and jump the 2 teams ahead of them? I wouldn't put big money on it, but it's not out of the realm of possibility, not at all. They have too much talent to not, at the very least, make things interesting in August and September.  

Miguel Cabrera has been hitting the cover off the ball the past couple of weeks, last night's 4-4, 2 home run, 3 RBI game being his best of the season. Miggy is now hitting .291 with an .851 OPS, and rising. Thoughts?

So much for the knee-jerk mouth breathers (Just check the comment thread at the Freep or Mlive after any Tigers loss, and you'll understand why I used the term "mouth breathers." It's those morons who soured me on continuing with a COTD) who called Cabrera trade a bust all of 2 months into the season. It's moronic to think Cabrera would be a massive bust, especially when taking into account his changing leagues, adjusting to a new team and position, dealing with a nagging hip injury and the expectations a $150+ million contract brings.

He's hitting his stride, and finally looking like the player we expected back in December. Despite his slow start, I'll bet you dollars to donuts Cabrera ends up with stats comparable to the numbers he put up the last 4 seasons in Florida.  

So the trade isn't a bust, even with Dontrelle Willis doing nothing but playing catch down in Lakeland?

Not even close to being a bust.

 I'll make that trade 10 times out of 10, even if it meant taking on Dontrelle Willis and his aversion to the strike zone. The mistake wasn't in taking on Willis, as Detroit had no choice in the matter if the trade for Cabrera was going to be consummated. The mistake was giving him such a big contract before even throwing one pitch in anger. (Hey, 20/20 hindsight is great, huh?)

The reason the trade was made is the Tigers were receiving a young superstar in Cabrera. Young superstars rarely hit the open market. So when a talent the age of Cabrera is available, you do what it takes. In this case, doing what it takes meant Willis being included in the deal.

I'll admit I thought the Willis signing was a good one at the time, as I believed the Tigers wouldn't have shelled out so much dinero if they weren't confident he would be, at worst, competent. I don't think they saw the Steve Blass-esquse issues coming. No one did.

Willis' knee injury just exacerbates things, though we now know there's no serious structural damage. The only silver lining to the knee problem being the Tigers can keep Willis on the DL, and give him all the time he needs to figure out his issues, whatever the Hell they may be.  

So what do you with the D-Train?

If I were in charge, Willis wouldn't pitch for the Tigers again this season.

Willis is a sunk cost for the next 2 1/2 seasons, so he won't be released. His expensive contract, when combined with the control issues, make him untradeable. So Willis is a Tiger at least through next season, good, bad or ugly. The Tigers are doing the right, and only, thing they can do. Keep Willis in the minors and let him work through his issues. Be they mechanical, mental, or a combination thereof.

He's in the right place to be doing so, that being far, far away from Detroit.  

Marcus Thames is still playing well as the everyday left fielder, hitting his 17th home run last night. (A stunner, in that it was to the opposite field!) Is he the long-term solution in left field?

I'm still not entirely sure the Tigers think so, even though Thames is the only pure power hitter on the team. Personal;ly, I think he's earned the full-time job for the foreseeable future. At least until one of the young outfielders prove they are ready offensively. Either way, I don't think we'll see the Tigers going outside the organization anytime soon for a left fielder. We'll see no more experiments with the likes of Jacque Jones.

I'll just say this about Marcus Thames. If a home run is needed, Thames is the Tiger I want at the plate. Sure, Magglio Ordonez, Carlos Guillen, Placido Polanco and Cabrera are better overall hitters, but no one on the Tigers is more of a threat to go yard than Thames. His ratio of 9.9 at bats per home run is by far the best on the Tigers, and one of the best in all of baseball. He's earned the full-time gig.

Actually, I really like how Jim Leyland is currently handling left field. Thames normally starts, getting the majority of at bats, but is pulled late in most games for the much much better fielding Matt Joyce or Clete Thomas. (Not that Thames is awful in the field, but Joyce/Thomas have much greater range and better arms) It gives the Tigers the best of both worlds, Thames' massive power, with solid late inning defense. I'd be just fine if that remained the status quo for the rest of the season.  

Where will the Tigers stand when they reach the defacto halfway mark, the All-Star break?

Not where I thought they'd be going into the season, but still in decent shape for a second half run. I'll say they'll be in 3rd place, 5 games back of the Sox. I have nothing to back it up, just a gut feeling. //knock on wood//

The Lions are asking their fans "Do you believe in now?"

You're kidding, right? Right? You mean this latest promo gambit is supposed to be taken seriously?

Then the answer is...No. I don't.

Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Burn me for an entire lifetime? Welcome to the world of Lions fandom.

You know, I'll make the occasional leap in faith. I'll leap with any team in Detroit when they show me they are capable. But the Lions? Please.

I won't leap for the Lions. In fact, I refuse to believe in the Lions. I won't allow myself.

I've been burnt one too many dozens of times by the asshats known as the Detroit Lions. It's going to take more than a flashy promotional spot and marketing slogan (designed, more than anything, to just sell tickets) to get me to "believe" in the worst run team in professional sports. Want me to believe? Want me to take the Lions seriously? Then Fire Millen. Shitcan the porn 'stached goon running the team.

Otherwise, the Lions are just insulting their fanbase with this "believe" bullshit.

10 things I learned this past weekend

10. Computer crashes blow. Blow big and hard. They're scary, too. When I saw the screen telling me it couldn't boot into Windows, talk about a sinking feeling. You feel almost helpless. My stages of computer grief were:

A. helplessness
B. desperation
C. anger
D. accpetance. 

My PC and I are doing much better now, thank you very much.

9. BACK UP YOUR FILES! I did (My most important, irreplaceable ones, anyway. I still had to re-download and install plenty of other stuff, though), and it saved my sometimes reckless with a PC ass. (And thanks for the Linux tip, MonkeyWrench32. I may just do Ubuntu, but on my older PC)

8. The only Tiger who can hit a backup catcher's 80 MPH fastball is Miguel Cabrera. Sad, but true. Though it was nice seeing the Tigers getting a sac fly

7. Carlos Guillen is plenty worthy of his All-Star selection, he's having a nice season. But Jason Varitek? Hell, Pudge is more deserving. Just another conformation the MLB All-Star rosters are a farce.

6. I trust Joel Zumaya when he comes out of the pen. Save goes for Freddy Dolsi. I can't say the same about Fernando Rodney. Memo to Jim Leyland: For the time being, use Zumaya and Dolsi as the late inning set up men, and let Rodney sort out his issues in middle relief.

5. A Big 10 vs Pac 10 football challenge, as TWFE arch enemy Jerry Green championed in Sunday's News, is nothing more than wisful thinking. Never, ever gonna happen. Thanks to the evil that is the BCS, schedules have become so dumbed down, you may as well call the 3 games scheduled before conference play exhibitions. (Yes, even the Appy State game. That loss goes totally on Lloyd Carr's shoulders, as the Wolverines were so unprepared, it bordered on negligence.)  Anyway, wouldn't a Big 10/Pac 10 football challenge end up just like the the joke that is the ACC/Big 10 basketball challenge? Isn't one guaranteed conference humiliation a year enough?

4. Finding a Shoutcast TV station that does nothing but stream MST3K 24/7 made me forget all about the PC crash. God damn, I love that show. (By the way, I have no specific allegiance to either the Joel or Mike seasons, I find them equally hysterical) Thank God those uber-funny/creative minds have given us both RiffTrax and Cinematic Titanic. They both get the TWFE stamp of approval. Highly reccommended.

3. The Indians gave up. C.C. Sabathia is gone, and more players are sure to follow him out of Ohio. It helps the Tigers in the short term, say the next season or two. But it's up to them to take advantage of that fact. They have one less team to worry about, as the Tigers' window to win is this season and next. Playing .500 ball, though a nice recovery after their horrific start, isn't enough.

2. Corey Magette to the Pistons? I could live with it. Pretty happily, actually. Make it happen, Joe D.

1. Chicago gets the next NHL outdoor game? The always an also ran Blackhawks? Come on, they couldn't give two shits about the Hawks in Chicago. The Red Wings gets jobbed by the NHL again...And again, and again, and again. Has a marquee franchise in any other professional league been trated as shabbily as the Red Wings are by the NHL? They are constantly screwed over in scheduling and travel, yet are expected to carry the entire Western Conference. The Wings have to be the best run franchise in the NHL, as the get no favors from the league office. A worse run team wouldn't have a chance.